


1897-98 The Price of Love

by Marcus_Gantry



Series: Photographic Memories [3]
Category: Steam Powered Giraffe
Genre: Cuddling, Loss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-27
Updated: 2020-10-27
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:21:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27217837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marcus_Gantry/pseuds/Marcus_Gantry
Summary: It's two weeks after the return from the Weekend War. The Colonel gives his blessing, knowing what price The Spine will pay for the love he feels for Abigail.
Relationships: The Spine and Abigail (OC)
Series: Photographic Memories [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1966084
Comments: 4
Kudos: 13





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I broke this one into 3 chapters due to length.  
> In this piece, as it is late 1897, Rabbit appears briefly with pronouns he/his. I am well aware of, and sympathetic to Rabbit's transition. This will evolve over time and other flashbacks. Felt it best to mention ahead of time.

A long two weeks after returning from the war in Africa, The Spine walked solemnly into the laboratory deep below the manor. He was clean and dressed in his best clothes. Abigail had even spent two whole days replacing the hair that he had lost in battle, much as he felt it would all be for naught. They had talked of many things during these two weeks, but never the war, and oddly, never the future. He hadn’t seen Rabbit at all during the week, though Abigail assured him Rabbit was being tended to, so at least he would be lucky enough to survive this. There had been no word of Hatchworth or Jon. 

He had been dreading this day, though. The room was empty now. He had insisted on sitting beside each of his soldiers as they were decommissioned for storage in one of the bunkers even deeper below ground. To have come so far and to have suffered so much, only to be cast aside as unnecessary to the moment. He had held each one by the hand as they were shut down and their core drained. Now it was his turn. He had dim hopes of being kept alive, as things could never continue as they had been before the war. With Delilah gone, and the experience of war, the innocence of that before time was shattered. And there was his inexplicable love for Abigail, the young woman who had been with him through his awakening. Now his fate rested with the man waiting beside the table.

The Colonel looked at him and heaved a heavy sigh. To The Spine he appeared older, more bent, more worn. The fighting, but more significantly the loss of his life’s love, had taken a deep toll on him.

“Come. Stand before me,” the man commanded. The Spine obeyed, with a sidelong glance at the canted table as he did so. He stood at rest, staring blankly over the head of his creator. His…Father.  
“Look me in the eye,” the man commanded. The Spine looked down into the man’s eyes. 

“Do you love Abigail?”

The Spine pulled back as if he’d been struck. The question stunned him. “Sir, I….” he stammered, then stopped and looked down at the floor. He simply answered, “Yes.”

“I suspected as much. I’m not quite sure how you became as sentient and aware as you are, but it has happened, for which I am sincerely sorry.”

 _Here it comes,_ The Spine was thinking. _I’ve crossed the forbidden line._ But he had answered truthfully and was grateful it was now out in the open, even if he was about to die for it.

“She loves you too,” the man whispered.

The Spine’s head snapped up. He looked at the man’s face, searchingly.

“Yes, she loves you. She has told me this herself.” He looked up into the eyes of the robot. “And now I’m going to burden you with a horrible truth. Abigail is gravely ill.”

“Sir? But she doesn’t look…”

“She is very brave and hides it extremely well. The Blue Matter…” Tears welled in the old man’s eyes as he looked away.

“How…how long?”

“You’re very astute. Possibly a year, maybe a little more, maybe a little less. The disease is progressive. It will become increasingly worse for her over time. I expect within the next 6 months she will be too ill to come downstairs.”

“No,” the Spine moaned. “No…” he whispered, shaking his head and squeezing back tears.

“Do you love her?”

“Yes sir, even more so now.”

“Can you love her in sickness and in health? Until death do you part?”

“Yes. To the core of my being sir, I will love her forever.”  
The Spine drew himself up to his full height, realizing he had just made what amounted to a wedding vow. 

The Colonel looked up at him. “For you, forever could be a very, very long time.” Again the man heaved a heavy sigh, and muttered, “That can’t be helped either….” He put his hand on the robot’s shoulder and nodded toward the door “Go. Be with her.” The Spine nodded and left. Colonel Walter closed the door behind him but then paused to rest his head against the jamb. “I wish there was something I could do to help. To help you both.” 

At first The Spine walked aimlessly through the lower corridors trying to sort through the tumultuous thoughts running through his head. Jubilant yet at the same time, in many ways, frightened for the future. At some point he stopped and shook his head to clear his thoughts. Looking around to get his bearings, he headed back up to the main floor of the manor. After asking several people where she might be, he found Abigail sitting in the sun room off the main parlor, a tea service on the small table before her.

“May I come in?” he asked almost timidly as he stepped into the room.

“Of course,” she whispered. “Please.” She indicated the chair opposite. She smiled as she watched him sit down gingerly, even though most things in the house were, by now, robot-proof.

“You’ve been to see the Colonel?” she asked quietly. He nodded. “And what did he say to you?”

The Spine shook his head and reached across the table to put his hand on hers. “I told him that I loved you. And that I wanted to be with you.” He smiled. “Abigail, he consented…. If you’ll have me….” He looked down at the table steeling himself for rejection. Abigail put her other hand on his. 

“Yes, Spine.” she nodded. “Yes.” She smiled sweetly. 

“Would you… Would you care to come for a walk in the garden with me?” he asked. She nodded shyly. He went around to help with her chair. She rose and he offered his arm to her but she hesitated to take it, unsure of what else the Colonel may have said to him. He turned to face her, a gentle hand under her chin to lift her face. He looked down into her dark, brown eyes. “Let’s start as if it were yesterday morning and we are just going for our walk in the garden. Nothing has changed between us. Except this.” He held her shoulders. Hesitating only a moment, he bent his head down to kiss her as he’d so often wanted to do. “I do love you. Very much. I don’t know how, or why, but I do.” She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tightly. He draped his arms loosely around her. They remained standing that way for several long moments. “Come,” he said. “It’s a beautiful morning outside.” He took her arm in his and they walked outside together. 

They took the long way around to the gazebo on the far side of the manor. As they approached they could hear a woman’s voice speaking softly. Abigail stopped short, holding The Spine from going forward.

“What is it?” he asked.

“That’s Angela. She’s probably brought Rabbit out for a walk.”

“Rabbit? Let’s go sit with them. I do miss Rabbit!”

She held fast. “Spine…Rabbit has not been…well.”

“All the more reason to go….”

She relented but she led the way to the gazebo entrance. “Good morning Angela. There’s someone here to see Rabbit, if you think it’s alright?”

The young woman seemed worried. “Of course, Miss Abigail. Rabbit is being particularly quiet today.” She turned to her charge. “Rabbit, someone’s come to visit with you. Do you want visitors today?” Rabbit just looked down at the floor, but nodded ever so imperceptibly. Abigail stepped aside to let The Spine enter.

The Spine hesitated. There was a vacant, haunted stare in Rabbit's eyes. Though still missing some plating, the damage from battle seemed to be all repaired. His copper sheathing had been somewhat cleaned up but still showed traces of green tarnish. The tarnish had become almost a design on his face, making The Spine wonder if he hadn’t adorned himself that way on purpose. There were dark streaks of oil stains under his eyes and down his cheeks. His leg had been repaired and the broken saw blade was gone, a missing plate on his arm showing it had been removed, not repaired. In fact, now that The Spine noticed, all the missing plating showed that all of Rabbit’s armament had been removed.

“Rabbit?” The Spine knelt down in front of him, reaching for his hand. He took it in his but there wasn’t any acknowledging pressure. “Rabbit, it’s your little brother, Spine.”

“Spine?” Rabbit whispered. “Spine?” His eyes focused and, with a wail, he leaned forward, flinging his arms around The Spine’s neck. “I thought I lost you too! I thought I lost you…” There were no more tears left to cry.

“It’s ok Rabbit. Everything will be ok.” The Spine held tight, rocking gently. Rabbit didn’t want to let go, but eventually leaned back while grasping for, and holding The Spine’s arm. 

“This isn’t a dream, is it?” Rabbit asked, suddenly unsure. “Ar-ar-are you really here?”

“I’m real, Rabbit. I’m here.” 

Rabbit looked at his face and nodded, somewhat reassured, a glimmer of a smile showing for only a brief moment before his eyes dropped to the floor and resumed their vacant stare.

“I should take Rabbit back inside now,” Angela said quietly. The Spine nodded and helped her get him to his feet. Rabbit walked with a slow shuffle, as if he were still maimed. Just as they passed through the gazebo doorway, he turned back and asked, “Will you visit again tomorrow?”

“Yes, Rabbit. I’ll come for a visit tomorrow.”

Rabbit nodded and the slight smile returned, though his eyes were still far away. Angela lead him back into the house.

The Spine sat heavily on the bench and watched after them until they had gone from view. His own gaze became distant and he was very still and quiet. Abigail sat down beside him and rested her head on his shoulder. “Are you ok?” she asked.

“I’m fine. No one told me. I should have come sooner.” 

“Rabbit’s repair has been quite rough. He’s only been fully awake for a day. The Colonel was worried. He wouldn’t come back online after the repairs. And now he keeps asking to be finished. I don’t know what that means, but I believe the Colonel does…and I can see it hurts him deeply.”


	2. Chapter 2

Every morning after that The Spine would come down from his room on the top floor of the manor to sit with Abigail at breakfast. It became a routine for them to be together during the days, often taking long walks around the estate or singing in the conservatory, sometimes bringing Rabbit along with them. 

One rainy morning The Spine went to the sun room and Abigail was not there. He waited, becoming more worried by the minute when she did not appear. He went to the doorway when he heard Cook instructing one of the young ladies in her charge to “take a tray up to Miss Abigail.” On seeing him there, Cook beckoned him over and handed the tray to him instead.

“Miss Abigail is feeling a bit under the weather this morning, Spine. Be a dear and take this up to her? Be sure to knock and ask permission before entering her room though!” He took the tray upstairs, hesitating at Abigail’s door. He was afraid to knock. Just as he raised his hand, the door swung open. They startled each other. Abigail let out a little “eep” of surprise and The Spine took almost a full step back. They looked at each other a moment, then Abigail laughed. The Spine smiled too. 

“Oh, I look a fright!” she exclaimed putting a hand to her hair. She was in her dressing gown and had removed her makeup.

“You look very beautiful to me,” he replied. He held out the tray. “Cook sent me up with this. I was worried.” She opened the door wider to let him in. 

“You go on in, I’ll be just a moment.” She hurried off down the hall to one of the new indoor bathrooms Peter had had installed a few years back. The Spine went into her room, looking around for a place to set the tray. It was a corner room and very spacious. The heavy draperies on the floor-to-ceiling windows facing east and south were tied back, letting the light in nicely, though today the skies were gray and rain streaked down the glass. There was a small dressing table between the two south windows. The Spine moved a few small items to set the tray down there. Not trusting the small wooden chair, nor the two in the sitting area, he stood patiently waiting. It was becoming a very long “moment.” When Abigail did reappear, her hair was brushed and she had washed her face, attempting to scrub a blush to her cheeks. But she was very pale. Her eyes were feverishly bright.

“I…I brought you your breakfast,” he stammered, not knowing whether to stay or leave. She crossed the room to him.

“Shh. Just…hold me.” She wrapped her arms around his waist. He embraced her, gently stroking her hair. He kissed the top of her head while beginning to hum a soft lilting tune, almost a lullaby, that he improvised on the spot. She held even tighter, turning her face to rest her ear to his chest to hear the melody reverberate there. He dropped the song’s pitch a third. She sighed with delight and snuggle even closer. He smelled of machine oil…and steamed linen. She leaned back to look up into his face. He looked down at her, his smile fading as he saw all the remaining color seemingly drain from her face. She swooned in his arms, though she did not faint. He held her from falling, picking her up to gently place her on the bed. He pulled the sheet up to cover her.

“I’m not feeling well today, Spine.” She whispered, putting a hand to his cheek as he knelt next to the bed. 

“Is there anything I can do, Abigail? Anything at all.” He took her hand.

She looked at him sweetly, her eyes bright. She patted the bed beside her. “Hold me?”

He stood and after a moment's hesitation removed his jacket and vest. The bed was a king sized sleigh with a sturdy box base, still he tested his weight on it before lying on the covers on his side facing her, his weight making a dip in the mattress that she let herself slide into. She rested on her side against him, her back to his chest, her head on his arm. He carefully put his other arm over her and held her gently. Once again he hummed the soft lullaby tune in his deep rumbling baritone. She snuggled against the warmth of his core, a contrast to the coldness of his touch. He continued humming the wordless song.

It was some time later that he realized she was quietly weeping. 

“Abigail?”

She shook her head against his shoulder. She wiped at her eyes. “It’s nothing,” she whispered. 

“But…you’re crying.”

She paused, hugging herself tightly.  
“I’m frightened.”

He smoothed back her hair then lightly combed his fingers through it. “I’m here. There is nothing to be frightened of.”

“You don’t know…”

“Yes, I do. And I am here. And I’ll be with you. Always.”

She rolled over to face him, to look at him in the rainy morning light. The soft green glow of his eyes as he gazed at her was comforting to her. She nestled in close to his chest. She could hear the quiet susurrations of his steam systems, almost like he was breathing. "I love you," she whispered.

“And I you. You mean the world to me,” he said as he wrapped his arm around her. “Let us just be in the moment. Always in the moment. The future, the past, they do not matter to us.” She nodded against his chest. He started the lullaby again, softer this time, like a gentle purr. She quieted and relaxed against him. Soon her even breathing told him she had drifted into sleep. Content, he let his power mode shift to standby, and he “slept” as well. 


	3. Chapter 3

From that moment he was her near constant companion, always at her side, always at her call. They walked together and laughed together. They visited with Rabbit, who eventually came out of that shellshocked state, though often there were bouts of surreal visions and disjointed conversation. The three of them often walked out to the ponds where Rabbit was fond of feeding the ducks. 

If the other people in the manor found it odd that The Spine was with Abigail, nothing was mentioned. They all worked or lived there with full knowledge that odd happenings were more the norm than not. It wasn’t their business that The Spine spent all of his time with her, the nights as well as the days. The young woman who assisted Abigail with her dressing in the morning had even seen them cuddling together on the bed, but in this house, it was nothing disconcerting or scandalous.

Days turned into weeks, weeks to months. Time seemed to stand still that summer during their hours together. But there came the day when the walk to the pond was too taxing on Abigail’s strength. The Spine and Rabbit had to make a chair of their arms to carry her back, though she insisted on being put down before they were within sight of the manor. 

A few more weeks and the stairs to their room became too difficult to negotiate. To try only left Abigail weak and winded. The Spine carried her up and down with ease. The carriage now was their transport around the property, Abigail leaning against his shoulder as he drove them along the pathways of the estate. He often sang to her, sometimes if Rabbit was along, they would join in harmony. But the songs were becoming more bittersweet. 

What remained of their happiness ended suddenly one cold February night. She would often get up during the night and The Spine thought nothing of it when she left his embrace. It was when she returned that she began coughing and could not stop. He sat with her on the edge of the bed, holding her shoulders and wishing there was something, anything he could do to help. It went on for a long time, her breath coming harder with each bout. She would not let him see the handkerchief she had held to her mouth, though he knew it would be bloodied. The Colonel had warned him of this day. After she had finally fallen asleep in his arms he wept his first tears in months. Wiping them away, he vowed she would never, ever see him cry.

The medication they gave her for the pain made her weak and lethargic. The Spine spent days on end in her room singing or reading to her, even if she wasn’t awake to hear him. Rabbit came to visit often and they would cheer her with a constant barrage of puns or maybe a bawdy song Rabbit had heard. But the laughing and the cheer soon became only small moments spaced farther and farther apart.

It was late on a dark night in early May, The Spine sat in the chair by her bedside holding her hand, softly singing the lullaby that had become their song of love. He caressed her hair, the side of her face as she rested quietly. Thinking she slept, he stopped singing. She awoke almost instantly, a flush in her cheeks and her eyes bright.

“Hold me,” she asked of him, “Hold me until the morning light.” The Spine got up and opened the draperies of the tall windows, then carefully arranged the bed so they could face the morning sunrise. Lying down beside her, he took her frail body into his arms. He could feel the weak spasms of her breathing, the gentle touch of her soft hand as she smoothed the fabric of his shirt against his chest. She fell asleep in his embrace. He let her rest until the sky began to redden with the dawn. 

“Abigail?” he whispered softly.  
She roused, gazing up into his face before turning her eyes from his to the windows. She gasped softly as the sun reached out from just below the horizon, turning the morning clouds to red-gold flame.  
“Oh…Spine. It’s…so…beautiful… And…You…. You…are…a beautiful…beautiful man. I…love…you…I…..”  
He felt her tense . Her hand clenched at his shirt. He could feel the wrenching spasm and hoped it would pass quickly, but it was lasting far too long. 

He held her tightly. “I’m here. Don’t be frightened.” He kissed her forehead. “It’s ok. You can go. You can let…go…. I love you so very very much….”

With a suddenness, the spasm released. Her breath seemed to ease from her body. Her hand relaxed its grip on his shirt. He saw the weak pulse in her throat come to a stop and her whole body seemed to collapse slowly against his. He held to her, not wanting to let go, not ever wanting to let go. He stayed that way for some time, well after the sun had crested the horizon, holding her until the morning was light. Then he got up and settled her back against the pillows, arranging her hair and the blankets before ringing the bell for the nurse. 

He expected tears, but they would not come. 

It wasn’t until days later, when he had to say his last goodbye, that they did finally come. 

No. Things would never be the same as they had been before the war….  
And forever was going to be a very, very long time.


End file.
